Sunday, March 27, 2005


Was remembering how i and you had met for the first time on that lonely dark day of my life. You were sitting in the cafe appearing to be waiting for some one (i knew deep inside that you weren't) looking more and more lonely depressed by the minute. That was when i decided that nothing was worth any of my efforts. Walked to the pan shop bought a cigarette on credit took the elevator to the terrace of my office building. Dark and empty as usual lit my cigarette bent down to see the pavement twenty stories below with the same thoughts running through my head. A four second fall give or take a second and all the lights get switched off. Permanently. i heard distant footsteps and the door behind me creaking; i turned around to see you standing in the door. You where startled to find some one else already in your place, you walked over to the edge leaned out and said "four seconds give or take a second." "Do you have another of those" you asked pointing at my cigarette. "My last ciggy" i said and you asked whether i would mind sharing it with you? well actually i wouldn't mind sharing anything with you. off course we ended up sharing our lives.


Three years after our official marriage was when we decided to adopt a child. We had reached the decision long ago that we would not have kids of our own, enough of pain and suffering you said but your mom was very persistent. We chose him or he chose us is a very difficult thing to say. The nun was very happy to hand him over to us. He said "Good morning" you asked him his name and he asked "what’s yours?" for the next three hours or so we didn't stop talking though he was a six year old he was far ahead of us emotionally. An accident had killed all his relatives; he was the sole survivor of a bus crash. Since the age of three he had been bought up by the nuns. "What is this?" "What is that?" "That is the computer" "that is a cigarette pack" "You shouldn't smoke cigarettes" "Yes its bad for the health" He rebelled against your cigarette smoking habit. He used to stare at you as you lit your cigarette and went typing on your computer. He tried every trick in the book to make you quit. We even went through a ten day period of silence. i guess you never noticed the time fly. Type. Type. Type. It was only after you completed the book did you start noticing the things around us. You just stopped buying the cigarette packs. We where so happy. You had made me promise me that i would not read your book till either you where dead or we had reached the age of fifty, strange but i had accepted. The book became a bestseller. People from far and near started calling you some even wrote letters. They even gave you a prestigious award for the book. The three of us grew older. You wrote five more books and let me read them all. Once in a while elderly couples or even teenagers would call up or drop in to say that your first book is the most wonderful book they ever read. Time rolled on he got married and moved on. The other day i found a copy of your book lying on my table.

Reading the book was like touching you deep inside. I understand what it is when all the people around me asked weather i had read the book. That night on the roof we had almost made an end to our lives; i am so glad that we didn't.


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